39 Things I Have Learned Plus A Bonus

1) Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does.

2) Just when you think it can't get any better, there's a chance it might.

3) Just when you think you can't, you find that you can.

4) Just when you find that you can, sometimes something will happen so that you can't.

5) If it's worth having, it's worth working for. This includes ice cream.

6) Not everything with thorns is prickly. Not everything without them is not.

7) Sometimes it's ok to buy yourself a present to make yourself feel better. Sometimes that does not work.

8) Someday you'll look back on this and laugh. Maybe. With the aid of alchohol.

9) Alchohol is not necessary a good way to escape, but at least it gives a reason for that "sick to your stomache" feeling.

10) When things look grim, it's ok to adopt a mantra to get yourself through it. However, it might be somewhat disturbing to anyone trying to sleep in the same room when you break out into "There are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese" in your sleep.

11) A car, no matter how broke it is, will always work for the mechanic, and stop working when you get it back AFTER you have paid the bill.

12) Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. However, one should avoid that maniacle sounding laugh that suddenly turns to tears, it can lead to embarrassing situations.

13) Sombrero's DO lighten the mood, if only for a few hours.

14) Sometimes people will suprise you. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes it is not.

15) Sometimes when second chances are given to easily they are not valued as much as when one has to earn them.

16) Dogs make life bearable.

17) It IS possible to breath underwater.

18) When blindness occurs in only one eye, stop driving, lay down, and take excedrine.

19) Running with scissors can't possibly be as dangerous as driving in the city, so go ahead, pick up those fiskars. Chances are you'll come out unscathed.

20) Kayaking topless is only a bad thing if you forget sunscreen.

21) Excercise CAN be a lot of fun.

22) You can change your life but it may not turn out the way you think it will.

23) Someday you might look at that spot on the carpet and think "I can fix that" and reach for the scissors. Don't.

24) When you need the sun to shine the most, it will rain. Try to keep in mind that someone else might have really needed that water more than you needed that sunshine.

25) Even when you pass out the memo, someone won't read it and realize that it really IS all about you.

26) Not all mojito's are created equal.

27) When the dog follows your every move and refuses to be more than 5 feet from you at any given time, keep in mind that he might know something you don't. He might be looking out for you, so just give him a hug.

28) Dogs keep secrets really really well.

29) Even the most evil cat at the very end will find a way to let you know she loved you.

30) There is truth to the saying "out of one frying pan, into another frying pan"

31) That thing you think can never happen to you...can.

32) The thing you complain about most, might be the very thing you miss most when it's removed from your life.

33) Walk a mile first...THEN judge.

34) Walk another mile.

35) It is NOT impossible. Improbable maybe, but not impossible.

36) When you replace the burner pans, someone will boil something over on the stove to mess them up.

37) Smoke alarms in the kitchen is an idea that only a man could have thought of.

38) Men don't always have the best ideas.

39) It's ok to be who you are.

Bonus: It is not always ok to be who you are all the time.