Monday Mirteen

Is so!

1) I have lived in this house just about 2 years. TWO! Count them...One..Two! In those 2 years we have gone without central air. We bought a window unit for our bedroom when the humidity proved to be more than we could handle. Some days it's sooo hot and muggy I have to change clothes 3 or 4 times because they just become SATURATED with humidity, so much so that they're heavy!!! The boys opted for fans. 3 days ago there was an appraisal done on the house. Today my landlord calls me and says "so the appraisor tells me the air conditioner isn't working?" Um.....WHAT????
He's sending a repairman out. My movers come on Tuesday.

How the hell can you NOT laugh at that?

2) It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission. This is a saying my husband taught me from the submarine. I may learn slowly, but I DO learn. I texted him on Saturday and said.."I'm buying wii fit today, love ya. He texted me back and said COOL! Ummmm what??? Yeah so anyway I got in the car and went straight to best buy and got it. We were goign to wait till after the move, but I'm going to be in this house for 2.5 weeks AFTER the movers come, I'm going to require some entertainment. Besides...I suck at going to the gym alone.

3) After having a child hook me up, I installed the first wii fit disk and hopped on. Hmmmm....and people are losing weight doing this? This is easy peasy! heh...famous last words. I can barely walk today, I have a blood blister under my big toenail, after clunking heads with my youngest we both narrowly escaped a concussion, He almost hit the ceiling fan in an unfortunate snowboarding incident, I fell off the mat (which by the way is flush with the floor)in a kayaking mishap, and Licorice and I collided during an unfortunate episode involving step aerobics and lets just not mention the yoga "incident" ok?

4) I can hula hoop like nobody's business! I am better than anyone in my house and can keep five hoops going at once for over 3 minutes. No one else even wants to try. They say it's because they dont' want to look like a chimpanzee on crack, I say they're just jealous.

5) After falling asleep at my computer last night I declared bedtime where upon I turned off the computer, put in a relaxation cd, nestled down into my covers and fell wide awake watching the clock tick by for 2 hours. I turned on a lamp, read for awhile, washed down a benedryl with beer in hopes that "alchohol may intesify the drowsiness effect" to no avail. I ignored the strange noises I heard outside my bedroom door, after all Licorice wasn't pitching a hissy so it must be nothing right? I was still awake at 6:30 when T left for school. I fell asleep around 7ish and slept till 1:30 in the afternoon whereupon I discovered the "attic panel" outside my bedroom door had been opened from the inside (of the attic) which is open to the outside. Ummmmm Okaaaayyyy....

6) The book I'm reading, incidentally, is about a hitman who is a MASTER at breaking into peoples houses stealthily and in odd ways.. ... like through attics and stuff.

7) I stood at the landing, peered into the depths of the attic and began "If you can hear me asshole, just come on out and get it over with. Seriously!"
Licorice raised a brow in my direction and I told him if he wasn't going to be any help he could just go get back in his bed. Turning to the attic once more I announced "Dude! I am alone in this house. I have been awake all freakin' night. I am out of coffee, I am out of DP, I haven't had real food in 2 days. I have been dealing with dmv's, broken cars, lawn mowers that won't start, flooding basements, and move preparations on my own for 2.5 months. In addition I have an adult and a teen child whose attitudes I have been dealing with. Last night there was a beetle on my pillow and a spider on the toilet seat. I have been LOOKING for a fight, so Either come out here and put me out of my misery or get the flying fuck out of my house!"

No one came out. I think he was scared....

8) in 2.5 months I have filled my gas tank exactly 3 times. Today I have to go to the store. I'll be lucky if I make it the mile there without running out on the way.

9) My eyeballs hurt.

10) Frick and Frack have been on the attack. Frick is missing a leg, and Frack is missing an antenae. It doesn't seem to bother them much, but I guess it's time to let Frack go. I'll keep Frick for a few more days and fatten him up. Kinda give him a leg up if you'll pardon the pun. I want to make sure he can survive on his own despite his handicap. It doesn't seem to slow him down much but there really aren't that many predators in the cookie jar either so there ya go...

11) Kenny has been impossibly affectionate the last couple of days refusing to be turned away when he wants to be held. Yesterday he insisted on being held while I was trying to do some balancing excercises. That boy weighs 16 pounds! My arms hurt almost as bad as my calves, but he seemed to love it. Weirdo.

12) I saw the preview for New Moon coming out in November. OMG!!!! I'm not quite sure how I'm going to live till then without seeing more. I'm generally a Team Edward kinda girl, but DAYUMMMMM....I could go Team Jacob for a bit before going back I think.....

13) Thirteen rhymes with mirteen so I'm gonna stop here. I've got some packing to do before the movers get here in 2 days and I need to set some things aside to keep behind and I'm running out of time. I also have to figure out how to get the attic panel back on from the outside since the hit man obviously isn't going to cooperate. I tell ya..it's damn near impossible to find good help these days!

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