Let Me Count The Ways.

I try to be a good neighbor to people. I keep quiet, I don't play my stereo loud, I keep my yard picked up, I don't let the grass get too long, I help sick and elderly neighbors when they need it by running to the store or shoveling snow or mowing if they need it. I wave and smile when I see people out and about. I consider myself a generally fairly friendly person. Considerate, kind, respectful. I try to keep my flashing to a minimum.

When we moved in here, our closest neighbor, the one I flashed, was a month or so from moving out. He was a friendly guy...quiet..pleasant..but then he moved...and THEY moved in. The neighbors from hell.

At first they seemed friendly enough, they smiled and waved if they saw us outside, but they were inconsiderate. They played music very loud and long after appropriate hours. Their driveway seems to be the "hub" of their activities...their back patio too packed with junk to be useful, they use the driveway to grill, sun bath, party etc. Their driveway happens to be right outside my bedroom windows. About 10 feet away.

The first indication they were going to be a thorn in my side was not just their propensity to stay out late in the driveway partying and having their spotlight on all night that shines in my windows...you'd think that would be it wouldn't you? No...the first indication was all the damn trash that they threw in my yard on a regular basis. At first I thought it was just the wind blowing stuff over here, but it was daily. Every time I went out it was juice boxes, candy wrappers, fast food, beer cans, and the icing on the cake was after a night of fireworks and all the spent pieces were found over here. I'd had it by that point and just started throwing stuff back over...if it landed on their cars even better..my message came across loud and clear I know because for a couple of weeks it got worse.

Then there was the dog. They have a black lab that is NOT friendly in any sense of the word that they just open the door and let outside when he has to go potty. Now I'm a dog lover..don't get me wrong, and if he was friendly it might not be such an issue, but he's not. After the 7th or 8th time he came over and barred his teeth and growled at me while I was on my own patio I started waving sticks and yelling at him and chasing him off every time he came over. Suddenly there was an abundance of dog poop on that side of my yard that borders theirs. We take our dog to the other side of the house (on a leash mind you) The final straw came when my son was outside walking home from his friends house in the opposite direction and was charged by this dog...several houses from where he lives. That was the first time I called animal control. It was not the last.

I could have insisted at that time when animal control asked me if I wanted the dog removed, but I told them no...I don't want to see anyone's pet taken from them, I just want them to obey the law..keep it on a leash in their own yard. It's not friendly, so don't let it run loose. Sounds fair to me. For a week straight they tied it up outside 24/7 and let it bark until it lost it's voice. I'm not kidding. Finally even THEY tired of hearing it and let it back in the house. Then they decided to just let it out after dark thinking I'd not notice it was in my yard...Helloooo people..it's a lab, not a chihuahua...unless you scoop up after it, it's kind of hard to hide the 'evidence'...

Have you ever wondered how far a riding lawn mower can fling dog shit? I'd say a good 8-10 feet. And if you mow in the right direction, and if you mow during someone's bar-b-que, might I just say...MMmmm Mmmm MMmmmm...now THATS a tasty burger! Ooops...my bad. I had no idea that was there...we take our dog to the other side of the house for business, so really...how could I know????

These "people" have not spoken or smiled and waved in a year and a half..approximately the same amount of time lapsed since my last call to animal control. I have insisted the dog not be taken away...I figure if I have to live with the beast then so should they.

Last night, or should I say this morning? At 4:15 am, after hours of partying 10 feet from my window with loud music and spotlights shining, they decided to compare motorcycle engines and stereos. I'm not kidding.
It was a long, sleepless night. The kind of night one has that allows for thinking and plotting, plotting and thinking.

I think I've just found my inner bitch. She hasn't been allowed to play in a very long time, and I think it's time to let her off leash...if anyone can appreciate that, I think it's them.

Let the games begin.